Category: Family

Why Moses Allowed Divorce

Divorce is a sensitive issue. It usually involves not only the married couple concerned but their children and extended family members and sometimes, the community as well. Acceptance of divorce depends on societal norms in that community and nation.

In modern days, especially for Christian couples, just because they have made wedding vows before family and friends they would live till death before they part, it becomes even trickier when face with the issue of divorce when it arises. Are there biblically justifiable grounds for divorce?

Searching for justifiable grounds for divorce is nothing new. It has been going on since time immemorial. In fact, divorce is sanctioned in the Bible, especially under the Old Testament. Divorce has been enacted into law by none other than Moses who wrote the first five books of the Holy Bible.

The Pharisees were custodians of the law and they sat in Moses’ seat.

Matthew 23:2: Saying, The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat:

They were also regarded as masters and rulers in Israel and of course well versed with the law of Moses.

John 3:1: There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:

John 3:10: Jesus answered and said unto him, Art thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things?

The Pharisees certainly knew the law concerning divorce. However, the law on divorce seems to be questionable and subject to abuse. So this was a good opportunity to trip up the Lord Jesus Christ who was never schooled under their authority.

Matthew 19:3: The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?

These Pharisees certainly knew the law on divorce very well. So the question was whether divorce for every cause was lawful. They were baiting the Lord to see how He would respond.

It was funny how they thought the Lord didn’t know the law on divorce allowed by Moses. So the Lord turned the table on them for not reading their Bible and hence not knowing God’s will on marriage and divorce.

Matthew 19:4: And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

Matthew 19:5: And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Matthew 19:6: Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Well, they certainly didn’t like this reply. How could they overlook such simple and fundamental decree from above concerning earthly marriages? Divorce was obviously not God’s will. The Lord’s reply to their question gave them cause to continue their scheme to find occasion to accuse the Lord for challenging Moses’s decree which was a serious offence.

Matthew 19:7: They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?

They thought they had cornered the Lord to back down with this question appealing to the authority of Moses. So far these religious elites could not find any fault and occasion for them to nail the Lord during His earthly ministry.

It seemed like they were finally succeeding. Disputing the law on divorce allowed by Moses would be a serious challenge to the authority of Moses and would thus get the Lord into big trouble with serious consequence.

But what actually does the law on divorce allowed by Moses entail?

Deuteronomy 24:1: When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.

So here is the law regarding divorce. The ground for divorce here is not based on moral or character deficit of the wife or serious transgression of the law of Moses. It is based on what the husband regards as uncleanness and he no longer favours her.

One would think that divorce is based on serious offence such as adultery committed by the wife. But it is not the case. In fact, adultery attracts the death penalty under the law of Moses.

Leviticus 20:10: And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

As such, divorce could be based on something as frivolous as uncleanness determined by the husband and hence, the Pharisees’ question concerning divorce under every cause that could be subject to abuse. Under such arrangement, the husband has the upper hand. Whenever he doesn’t find the wife pleasing anymore he could easily find occasion and excuse allowed for as uncleanness to divorce his wife.

Moses not only allowed divorce under such seemingly unfair statute that favours the man, he also codified the divorce where this woman once divorced by this husband could no longer return to him under any circumstance when she becomes another man’s wife. After the woman has been divorced she is free to remarry but she can never return to her former husband and this is the condition whereby the husband must understand before divorcing his wife. There would be no turning back after the divorce if she remarries.

Deuteronomy 24:2: And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.

Deuteronomy 24:3: And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;

Deuteronomy 24:4: Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

So this was the divorce statute given by Moses. Well, the Pharisees were not ignorant to this statute. They were using this statute hoping to trip the Lord so that they could find occasion to accuse Him for disobeying Moses.

But the Lord pulled no punches. He didn’t shy away from addressing this issue on divorce allowed for under the law of Moses. He turned around and accused the Pharisees and blamed them for this law on divorce where Moses allowed because he really had no choice due to the hardness of heart of the men of Israel.

Matthew 19:8: He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Here the Lord told them point blank they were the cause for divorce being allowed by Moses. Under the law, man could have more than one wife. Polygamy was practiced by the children of Israel and many famous biblical characters had more than one wife. They were never condemned nor rebuked by the Lord. However, polygamy is so recognized that the rights of the firstborn of the non favoured wife cannot be removed and replaced.

Deuteronomy 21:15: If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:

Deuteronomy 21:16: Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:

Deuteronomy 21:17: But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.

With polygamy allowed and recognized, some men might want to get rid of the wife he no longer finds favour. He could get himself off the hook and needs not fulfill to her his duty of marriage. This would also lighten financial burden and commitment with one less woman to care for and feed.

There is no alimony required under the law of Moses during a divorce. So the woman is obviously caught in a bad situation under such divorce arrangement.

What about her children after divorce if she has any? It would be unlikely the children are chased out of the house with her. Which man would want to marry her together with her children? It would be a sad situation for the children losing their mother in a divorce.

The only positive point about divorce as far as the woman is concerned is that she is free and she could remarry. With divorce allowed by Moses, other man could have this privilege to fulfill the duty of marriage to this divorced woman. But the woman could not return to her former husband and all her children if she has them in her previous marriage.

While it might sound good to get out of an abusive and unhappy marriage when divorce is allowed, divorce could be abused too and many times the case as questioned by those Pharisees. Divorce as allowed by Moses was a social expediency not the perfect will of God and the Lord told these Pharisees off in no uncertain terms.

The abuses under the terms and conditions of divorce have been so abused that the God of Israel rebuked the children of Israel severely in the last book of the Old Testament before the Lord turned silent on them for four hundred years.

Malachi 2:14: Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

Malachi 2:15: And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Malachi 2:16: For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

Malachi 2:17: Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?

Jehovah God clearly had been very angry with the children of Israel who had been dealing treacherously with the wife of their youth. They had been warned to take heed to their spirit and not deal treacherously with the wife of their youth as though the God of judgment was no longer around. Divorce allowed under Moses was the best platform to deal treacherously with the wife of their youth.

When the wife grows older and no longer attractive, finding faults such as uncleanness would be so simple and easy. Divorce could be so easily carried out and the poor woman would have to fend for herself after divorce and if she has children, she would no longer have rights to have access to her children. This is a terrible loophole for treacherous man to exploit.

Nevertheless, if divorce is not allowed, the wife who has lost favour might find herself in even more terrible plights. Being ignored and abused by the husband and perhaps even the husband’s other wives could be even more trying and painful.

Physical violence could become her constant companion too if she has to live on under the same roof with her husband. As such, getting divorce might be the lesser of the two evils and hopefully, the woman could live on happily either on her own or have a better second marriage.

Truly God hates putting away. Marriage bond is a symbol of God providing eternal salvation for His people. If divorce is the norm, this is a direct attack on God’s eternal security promised to His people.

The Pharisees raising the question on divorce hit a wall. They didn’t know they were dealing with God manifest in the flesh. This same God had been watching them tolerating their treacherous dealings with their wives for years. In addition, the Lord raised the bar for divorce where the only justifiable ground for divorce is fornication and not some frivolous uncleanness as determined by the husband.

Matthew 19:9: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Actually, fornication as a justifiable ground leading to divorce is not new. The case of the conception of the Lord Jesus Christ is a case in point.

Matthew 1:18: Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.

Matthew 1:19: Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.

Mary was with child of the Holy Ghost. Joseph, Mary’s espoused husband was a just man. His espoused wife was pregnant and he could put Mary to death.

But he could not find the adulterer and putting Mary to death was unjust because death penalty are carried out on both the adulterer and the adulteress and not on the adulteress alone. So if Mary was with child due to fornication, it would be better off to put her away privately in a divorce settlement.

By tightening this law on divorce and raising its standard, even the Lord’s disciples were displeased. They remarked that if that be the case, it was not good to marry.

Matthew 19:10: His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.

One could imagine the spiritual maturity of these disciples. They wanted to reserve the rights and privilege to divorce their wives under the law of Moses where they could easily abuse the system. No wonder the Lord concluded the Old Testament with that sharp rebuke concerning the men of Israel dealing treacherously with the wife of their youth.

These Pharisees practiced creative and selective obedience to the law of Moses. They could come up with justifiable grounds to get waiver from compliance to the law of Moses such as not having to honour their parents.

Mark 7:10: For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:

Mark 7:11: But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.

Mark 7:12: And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;

Mark 7:13: Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.

Hence are these Pharisees so concerned about equity in the law on divorce allowed for under Moses? The treacherous dealings of their forefathers continued with them and their hypocrisy was simply disgusting to say the least.

They were not trying to discuss the finer points on the law of Moses with the Lord. It was not a sincere enquiry with regards to learning something useful for them to apply under the law of Moses. It was a question raised to tempt the Lord. Their silence after this rebuke was surely deafening.

Even the disciples of the Lord were displeased with the new requirement for divorce. Raising the bar with this new justifiable ground for divorce disadvantaged them.

So the Lord concludes that not all men can accept the duties and responsibility in a marital union. Only selected few, by birth, forced of circumstance or even voluntarily remaining single, are not having to deal with troubles in marriage.

Matthew 19:11: But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

Matthew 19:12: For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

Most people on earth are not so gifted to remain single like the apostle Paul who for the Lord’s Kingdom sake went all out without a wife to distract him in the Lord’s work.

Staying single might avoid having to deal with all the troubles and distractions that come with married life but not getting married could get one into more serious trouble.

1 Corinthians 7:9: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Corinthians 6:18: Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Corinthians 7:2: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Hence, fornication is the only justifiable ground under the New Testament for divorce. Nevertheless, forgiveness and reconciliation should be sought before entering into divorce, especially for the sake of children having to suffer the trouble and trauma of parents going separate ways in a divorce.

Hebrews 13:4: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

John 1:17: For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.

Let no Christian man and woman ever consider the possibility and acceptability of divorce allowed by Moses in the Church Age. Grace and truth have come and hence, let no Christian man and woman entertain the notion of possible separation in a divorce for frivolous reasons.

1 Peter 3:7: Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

1 Peter 3:8: Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

1 Peter 3:9: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

Any Christian couple taking heed to this admonition will never find themselves heading into the dark narrow alley of despair in a divorce.


Costly Affair for Chinese New Year Celebration

Lunar New Year is here again. Chinese all over the world are celebrating this occasion. Prior to the very day of the new year, reunion dinner is a tradition to be observed where family members gather to have a great meal and a good time enjoying one another’s company. This tradition has been passed down through generations and is still being kept by Chinese everywhere.

This is an important event especially for Chinese in China where they work in cities far away from home and they only get to go home once a year to be with their family. This home coming puts China’s transport infrastructure into great strain with the legendary exodus of hundreds of millions of Chinese returning to their home town. Sometimes, the high way would look like an open air carpark during horrible traffic jams due to traffic accidents or inclement weather conditions.

Nevertheless, reunion dinner is a gathering Chinese will not want to miss longing to see their parents and siblings after months of separation due to work or business or even schooling. However, for Chinese living in small cities where there are constant interaction and regular meals together with family members, this reunion dinner, though a Chinese tradition, has lost some of its meanings. It becomes a chore and a burden for those living in fast pace city lives, hardly have the time to cook at home, let alone prepare dinner for big family gathering.

Besides reunion dinner, preparation for Chinese New Year cost a lot of money. Chinese will want to buy new clothes, new shoes, new bags and if possible even a new car. This is in addition to food and snacks to be purchased to entertain relatives during visits and of course decking up the home after an exhaustive spring cleaning and all these add to the cost of the celebration. Another very costly aspect of the celebration is giving out red packets with cash inserted inside to be given to children once they are married.

So this is the time of the year small kids are taught about receiving red packets containing cash inside. This is supposedly to make them happy with blessings but in reality teaches them covetousness, a time of exploitation and extortion. They would some day grow up having to be givers so might just as well collect as much while they are still eligible, especially to help parents recoup the cash they have to give out to other people’s kids.

Hence, it is so common to hear Chinese bellyaching about having to find money to go through Chinese New Year. On the social media, one guy was complaining about having given his dad who is retired several hundred dollars for red packets to be given out during Chinese New Year, his dad spent them all in a week. Another woman was complaining about the restaurant she works at promised to give employees bonus but failed to materialized in the very last minute. She was given an advance half a month salary a week ago and she had already spent them all on stuff for the new year. She was lamenting where she might find money for expenses for the next few weeks having to pay school fees for children and transportation expenses at the very last moment just before Chinese New Year.

Chinese New Year indeed comes with terrible burdens. Some people have been retrenched recently. How are they going to face their family members and relatives during this festive season? There is no end to trouble for those who are in financial difficulty. The article here summarizes services available to make Chinese New Year less stressful for busy city folks.

Four Services Available to Make Chinese New Year Less Stressful

Of course if you have an entrepreneurial spirit, Chinese New Year offers great business opportunity too. The Rent-A-Girlfriend Apps becomes an instant sensation because during Chinese New Year gatherings, instead of genuinely concern about each others welfare, it usually turns into a show-off convention with busy bodies asking personal questions causing embarrassment to some young people.

Girlfriend Rental App

Besides questions about marriage prospects, relatives also take the opportunity to compare occupations, wealth, children’s academic performance and many other vanities in this life. Unless you have money, Chinese New Year is not fun at all. Chinese New Year is all about wealth and getting more wealth.

As Christians, we see through all these vanities of life what the scriptures warn as worldliness and worldly lust. The Psalmists aptly exclaimed:

Psalms 39:5: Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.

Psalms 39:6: Surely every man walketh in a vain shew: surely they are disquieted in vain: he heapeth up riches, and knoweth not who shall gather them.

Nevertheless, many Chinese Christians still celebrate Chinese New Year. Some no doubt have to suffer the burdens associated with all the encumbrances during this festive season if they are unable to disengage themselves from pesky relatives and all other vain and superstitious practice.

Actually, as Christians, we cannot blame the Chinese for going after all the material things in this life because they don’t know God and don’t have God’s promise to provide for them and take care of them.

Matthew 6:28: And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

Matthew 6:29: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Matthew 6:30: Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

Matthew 6:31: Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

Matthew 6:32: (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

Matthew 6:33: But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

So Christians should not condemn or despise the Chinese for all this pursuit of wealth to impress relatives that they don’t like with the money that they have during this time. We should pity them for the burden they have to go through during this time. Some would no doubt end up with substantial debts to clear once the celebration is over. Of course there is nothing wrong wishing everyone well during Chinese New Year, especially wishing peace and blessings from the Lord.

As Christians, whatever calendar we observe, it is another year closer to the Lord’s glorious coming for us. It is a time to give thanks for God’s goodness for the past years and the rich blessings the Lord bestows upon us that we least deserve. May all Chinese Christian the world over rejoice in the Lord during this Chinese New Year.

Wishing all Chinese brethren God’s peace and blessings from above during this festive season.


Gender Neutral Parenting

Raising children used to come naturally to new parents. However, parenting in the modern world is complicated by many new trends from the wisdom in this world coming up with many fanciful ideas. Some new parents even attend courses to learn how to be good parents.

Parents of old without the benefits of New Age thinking have been successful in raising wholesome children for generations. This is no longer the case when modern day parents chase after material well-being for the family instead of spiritual and moral well-being of their children. Hence, in many highly urbanized societies, children are left to the care of domestic helpers or day care care givers. The end results are not really pretty which is evidenced in the warning given by the apostle Paul.

2 Timothy 3:2: For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

If you think parental neglect of children to certain extent due to families having to rely on a dual-income to support the family is tragic, this latest warped idea of raising children letting them explore and discover their gender identities is even worse.

Why I’m Raising My Kids To Be Gender Neutral

Some parents allow their children the choice to discover their own gender and even allow them to cross dress to see if they prefer to be male or female. This is a direct rejection of the God’s ordained calling for the children.

Genesis 1:27: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

They believe that if there is a God at all, God could have made a mistake with the birth of the child. So they allow little children to explore and experiment to decide on their gender preference in the future. This is folly of the highest order.

Children lack understanding and they must be taught on many things pertaining to this life, including who they are and how to behave as male and female.

1 Corinthians 14:20: Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.

Children need to learn and grow and wean off their childishness to become an adult in the future.

1 Corinthians 13:11: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

It is the responsibility of parents to teach and train their children, in particular, concerning the truth in the Holy Bible.

Proverb 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

For those irresponsible parents who cause their children to become confused and adopt a lifestyle incongruent with their gender, they will reap what they sow. The Holy Bible clearly warns against certain category of people who being effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 6:9: Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

Interestingly, some of those modern false bibles conveniently left out the category of effeminate creatures. No doubt, these are New Age bibles.

Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men (NIV)

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, (NKJV)

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, (ESV)

You know that wicked people will not inherit the kingdom of God, don’t you? Stop deceiving yourselves! Sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, (ISV)

Christian parents should do well to immerse themselves in the scriptures to raise up goodly children for the Lord and not follow some mindless trends in the world.

1 Corinthians 3:19: For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.

Psalms 127:3: Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Psalms 127:4: As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

Psalms 127:5: Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.


Honour Thy Father and Thy Mother

2 Timothy 3:1: This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.
2 Timothy 3:2: For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

Among the characteristics of End Times conditions in society are men shall be lovers of their own selves and being disobedient to parents. The world has undergone tremendous transformation in recent years entering the digital age with a bang where nowadays even young kids are often glued to their mobile devices. There has not been a greater disconnect between the young and old during our time where the young wakes up to all sorts of excitement everyday and views the world as their oyster while the old walks into sunset years confused and fearful of what future awaits.

The recent referendum in UK to leave Europe pitted the young against the old in a fairly consistent pattern. The young voted to remain in Europe while the old voted to exit Europe. Many young people were angry with their parents after the result of the polls. They were angry that these elderly folks were out to ruin their future.

http://www.macleans.ca/news/world/generation-eu-how-brexit-pitted-old-against-young/

Young People have a Right to be Angry at Brexit but not at their Parents

The dichotomy between the young and old is one of the manifestations of the End Times conditions. It is not uncommon to observe the young showing disrespect towards the elderly in day to day activities. It is rather common to see children talking back rudely or screaming at their parents when they couldn’t get their way. It is an embarrassing sight but unfortunately, some parents simply take such disobedience and disrespect nonchalantly in their strides without correcting the children. These children will grow up someday and the consequence is not pretty.

In recent time, parental neglect has become an issue. Parents have been abandoned by their children and some are living out their sunset years in destitute. This will become a more acute problem with the coming silver tsunami where ageing population is going to place greater strain on the younger population to support the elderly.

The Maintenance of Parents Act was enacted during the nineties in Singapore to address this issue of children having a duty and responsibility to care for their aged parents. While it is true the State cannot legislate filial piety, it is nonetheless, an important legislation to ensure delinquents do not pass their duties towards their parents to society.

Parents Compel their Children to Support them

When Parents and Children Fight over Money

Maintenance of Parents Act

The time-honoured commandment from the Bible to honour parents is not a unique commandment for the children of Israel. Society at large adopts such a virtue where parents are to be honoured.

Exodus 20:12: Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

Deuteronomy 5:16: Honour thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment given to the children of Israel is among the Ten Commandments given where observing this specific commandment brings blessing of longevity. The rest of the commandments are to be obeyed failing which punishment is certain and no promised of blessings is pronounced to those who keep those commandments.

So by right, the children of Israel should be motivated to keep this commandment to honour their parents. Unfortunately, honouring parents require more than lip service; it cost time and money as well. Some found ingenuous ways to get out of this obligation to honour their parents using Jehovah God as their excuse by gifting away the portion for their parents. Hence, when the Lord Jesus Christ showed up on earth, He condemned those who schemed their ways out of honouring their parents.

Matthew 15:4: For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.
Matthew 15:5: But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me;
Matthew 15:6: And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.

Mark 7:10: For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:
Mark 7:11: But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.
Mark 7:12: And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;
Mark 7:13: Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.

For the New Testament Christian, honouring parents is still an active commandment whether the parents are saved or lost. It is still a commandment that comes with a promise of blessing to those who keep it.

Ephesians 6:2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
Ephesians 6:3: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

The burden of caring for parents belongs to the children and not the Church or the State. It is not just the children’s duty and responsibility to care for their elderly parents, it is the right thing to do and is acceptable before God.

1 Timothy 5:4: But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

Honouring parents does come with a caveat though. It is the Lord who commands believers to honour parents. However, there might be occasions where honouring parents would dishonour God and thus appealing to a higher authority in heaven is the proper avenue.

The God fearing king Asa had an idolatrous mother. For the honour of God and for the sake of his subjects, he had to remove his mother from being queen. In addition, he destroyed her idol and made her an example to prevent his people from falling into idolatry and incur the wrath of Jehovah God.

2 Chronicles 15:16: And also concerning Maachah the mother of Asa the king, he removed her from being queen, because she had made an idol in a grove: and Asa cut down her idol, and stamped it, and burnt it at the brook Kidron.

1 Kings 15:13: And also Maachah his mother, even her he removed from being queen, because she had made an idol in a grove; and Asa destroyed her idol, and burnt it by the brook Kidron.

Idolatry is a serious offence. King Asa’s mother could meet her Maker much earlier had the law of Moses been applied to her. That was as much as king Asa could do to honour his mother.

Another example would be the Lord’s attitude towards His own mother and siblings while He was busy ministering to the people.

Matthew 12:46: While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.
Matthew 12:47: Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
Matthew 12:48: But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
Matthew 12:49: And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
Matthew 12:50: For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

The Lord was surrounded by the crowd of disciples eager to listen to Him. Someone told Him His mother and siblings were waiting outside to speak with Him. Just when the crowd expected the Lord to make His way to see His family members, He did the exact opposite. He questioned who were His family members. He then stretched out His hands towards His disciples and honoured them as much as He would honour His family. The Lord affirmed those who do the will of God are considered part of His family.

So the Lord does not give blood ties priority over the spiritual things of God. Blood ties and kinships count little as far as God’s kingdom is concerned. It is the Lord who commands His people to honour their parents but however, if honouring parents takes priority and supersedes or comes into conflict with spiritual truths, then such honouring of parents is misplaced.

The children of Israel were commanded to honour their parents who were supposed to be people of Jehovah God which should not be any issue. But for the New Testament Christians, they may have unsaved parents where they are still obligated to honour them. There will be times of dilemma where these unsaved parents would demand them to perform certain undertakings that would come into conflict with biblical teachings. Then honouring them on that matter would bring dishonour to the Lord.

Some issue could be more treacherous and would result in eternal consequence not to be trifled with. If a child of God is teaching his children the way of the Lord and his unsaved parents come along to contradict and confuse the children, then he has to put a stop to such devilish attempts to damn the children to a Christless eternity. It is better to honour such parents by caring for them without living with them under the same roof for the sake of the souls of the children.

Some damnable influence from unsaved people will become insidious and poison the minds of the young ones a little at a time. It might be too late to wake up to the horror of losing the children to the devil for honouring the parents above honouring the Lord. Why give the devil opportunity to turn unsaved parents to become a horrific offender deserving the worst punishment for offending the little ones?

Matthew 18:6: But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

The tragic downfall of Eli serves as a good example of putting blood ties above the Lord.

1 Samuel 3:13: For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.

1 Samuel 2:29: Wherefore kick ye at my sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honourest thy sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the chiefest of all the offerings of Israel my people?

When God finally dispensed judgment, Eli and his two rebellious sons as well as his daughter-in-law died that day when Israel was defeated before the Philistines. Honouring family members above the Lord has serious consequence.

Nevertheless, it is still the obligation of a Christian to honour his parents in ways that do not dishonour the Lord.

Ephesians 6:1: Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Ephesians 6:2: Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
Ephesians 6:3: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

In honouring parents, Christians are to obey their parents in the Lord, not above the Lord. Of course if parents are unsaved, much interceding for them before the throne of God is paramount and living out a good testimony before them is an utmost necessity.

May the Lord grant wisdom and peace to those who honour their parents acceptably before the Lord in this wicked and perverse generation.